I was very nervous when I got married. I wasn’t nervous about getting married; I was nervous because I had ulcerative colitis. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make it through the ceremony. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make it through the reception. I was just plain nervous.
I had just cause to worry. As an ulcerative colitis sufferer I had proved to myself that stress played a large role in my illness. It was sort of a “self-fulfilling prophecy”.
The first decision I made was that I could have no pressure on my abdomen so I made sure and had a tuxedo with suspenders.
At the church, the door to the rest room was to the right of the front of the sanctuary. If I had a problem it would be a short trip to take care of it. It wouldn’t be classy but I wouldn’t be “stuck”.
I really had no confidence however. I had ulcerative colitis and I knew how to handle most social problems such as work and dates or parties but getting married presented a whole different challenge. I certainly didn’t want to embarrass my new wife.
What I did was to go on voluntary medication (steroids) even though I was not in an ulcerative colitis “flare”. In addition to working with my gastroenterologist, I enlisted the services of a psychiatrist; I simply did not feel I could handle this situation on my own.
I went to three sessions and got a couple of medications which were major relaxants. Further the psychiatrist helped me visualize “making it through” the ceremony.
For some reason I felt more prepared.
As an ulcerative colitis sufferer I made no decision with respect to any change to what we served at the reception or with respect to the ceremony. However, there was a major decision that my wife and I made which I think made all the different.
My wife and I thought long and hard about the whole ulcerative colitis situation. I have always found that being honest takes a lot of pressure off so, we decided to tell the wedding party and having them as supporters rather than possible “enemies” and it really helped.
I can’t imagine what a woman with ulcerative colitis would do because once you are “on stage” that is about it and I am sure the wedding dress would be constricting.
I was very happy when I knew I was going to marry my wife. The problem for an ulcerative colitis sufferer is that even good news can create stress and hence a flare or, at least cramping which could possibly be tragic.
What I found that helped was to get preventative treatment. I found it helped to get strength for my mind as well as relaxing. I found that having the correct clothes made sense. However, far and away, the best thing I did as an ulcerative colitis sufferer which I have found to work time and time again, was to enlist the aid of friends so that I had built-in support.
I have found that with my ulcerative colitis people will help if one will just give them a chance.