Effectively socializing can be hard for some people. We want to be friendly without coming off as too pushy and that can be hard. For others, talking to new people makes them nervous and even in a situation where they have support from other friends, they will usually stay quiet and avoid being friendly. But there are solutions to both of these problems.
Here are some simple things you can do to get social with those around you:
Take this scenario, for example. You’re on a train and it’s taking longer than usual. When anything like this happens, we automatically think about how weird it is or how much you need to get to work. Chances are the people next to you are thinking the same things to themselves. So speak up. You’ll instantly have something in common.
The same goes for work situations. If it’s tax season and you’re swamped with work, a little friendly banter between you and co-workers is likely to grease the wheels a little. They probably feel the same way and you already have a lot in common by working in the same office. Your friendship can only flourish from there.
Another tactic for socializing is to ask people for advice. When you ask someone for advice what you are saying to them is that you value their opinion and that you respect them in some way. This makes people feel good. It will make you more likable.
A similar tactic is called the Ben Franklin effect because it is one that he used himself. It has to do with cognitive dissonance. The concept of cognitive dissonance is basically a state of mind where your attitudes don’t match your actions. The mind as a self defense mechanism will either change the action or change the opinion. For example , if you’re deciding what movie to see and you pick one that ends up being not so good. You’re is likely to make yourself feel less bad about the decision by assuming the other movie probably wouldn’t have been very good either. It can work either way so sometimes your actions dictate your opinions and sometimes it’s the other way around.
How Franklin used this to socialize, and how you can too, is by asking people for a favor. When someone does you a favor, they automatically decrease their cognitive dissonance by thinking “Well, I did him a favor, so I must think he’s a good person.” As a result, when you do a favor, you tend to like them more.
One personal tip I use to get to know people, is that I treat everyone I meet as if I’ve been friends with them all my life. Some people will be taken aback by this, but others will reciprocate. I find that most of the time, this method works because it makes people feel comfortable. If I’m not bothering with first impression niceties then they don’t feel like they have to, making social interaction easier and more natural.
This is an effective method if you’re a little shy because it takes the pressure off meeting someone new. Using these methods, you’ll be the life of any party in no time.