Ever since the invention of ‘washing machines’, socks have started to slowly disappear. Why is this?
As I bend my head in the empty cavern of the machine, I inspect every nook and cranny, especially under the machine’s back and forth apparatus that guarantees our clothes to come out clean. Yet, I can never figure out where my one sock out of a pair goes. It’s a mystery. I have a whole line up of poor lonely socks that are waiting for their …er… ‘sock-mates’ …to return.
So where do these missing socks go?
Is it possible that the swishing motion of the water creates some type of mysterious dimensional whirlpool that grabs a sock, sending it into an oblivion of no-return? With my head in the hole, I hear the acoustical echoes of my voice, “Hello?? Gimme my sock back!”. Alas, not to much avail.
There is something definitely scientific to all of this, but I think it would take more than Physics 101 to solve this mystery. And so muttering under my breath, “…maybe it has something to do with static…”.
So, I take all the elements and toss them around in my mind, trying to understand how a vortex can be created. Pretending to be a genius, I carefully assimilate all the factors that might play a part in the mystery.
Let’s see…there’s water… soap, no doubt….one sock….dirt…. static culminating from the constant swish-swoosh of the back and forth motion of the washing machine’s turning hub….wait, I almost forgot the “rinse solution”.
Is it possible that once all the dirt is removed by way of soap and rinse solutions, that the sock shrinks and then can slip easier into the “vortex tube” that draws the filthy rinse water out of the machine? Is oblivion the pipes that run towards the sewers out underneath the streets? Is this the “sock nirvana”? Wait, in this situation that could be “sock limbo”. Our poor socks, are just waiting to be rescued before they are further carried away into deeper underground cesspools.
Do you think “Whirlpool” knows this secret? I mean, their company name says it all, no? I, personally, think they know. They just don’t include it in their instruction manuals. I betcha the Whirlpool Corp. and the City underground workers have signed a merger together to keep the mystery going.
I would like to test my scientific analysis, but that would mean my having to buy very long boots to go wandering around in the smelly sewers, with a strong 2-million candlelight flashlight on the top of my hard hat, just to see if I can spot all my missing socks, with a clothes pin on my nose.
Never mind. If there’s any truth to this hypothesis, may the sewer critters have fun with my socks.
Maybe wearing different colored socks could help start a new trend. We could call it the “Mod socks”. We could advertise a statement to the world that we at least clean our clothes.