Sports commentators – also known as sports announcers and sportscasters – are everywhere. At some point, probably between the creations of ESPN 17 and Fox Sports New Jersey Shore, the field began to thin a bit. In the world of TV sports commentators, everybody has a favorite. To go along with that favorite, everybody has a list of sports commentators they loathe; their very own worst sports commentators list. Some may find it odd that you can actually hate a sports commentator, somebody you choose to listen to (hey, there is always that mute button) and who only invades your home for limited amounts of time. But sports commentators can’t help but stick with you; they infiltrate your favorite hobbies and activities and linger in your nightmares for hours afterwards.
Here are some of the common types of sports commentators that drive your average sports fan crazy:
-The predictable sports announcers: You know what they are going to say, how they are going to say it and when they will say it.
-The ignorant sports announcers: They just don’t know the sport they are covering…how they got the gig, nobody knows.
-The all-purpose tool sports announcers: I’m not talking about a Swiss Army Knife here folks; these are sports commentators you can’t help but despise.
-The pretty face sports announcers: These sports announcers (both men and women) are there to look good; quality reporting is not a requirement.
Of course, sports announcers can fall into more than one of these categories, or be in a league of unworthiness all to their own. With those vital descriptions out of the way, here are the 5 worst sports commentators:
Honorable Mentions for the Worst Sports Commentators – With such a deep field, many accomplished names had to be left off the list. These include Jay Mariotti, Jeanne Zelasko, Chris Collinsworth and Joe Theismann. Maybe next year, ladies and gentlemen… maybe next year.
Worst Sports Commentators Number 5: Jim Rome – Jim Rome, host of his own ESPN TV and ESPN Radio shows certainly has a memorable personality. I’m not sure if it’s a human personality, but it sure is memorable. Oh, wicked burn, PHE-nomenal… listen, you’re my boy Jim Rome, but even I know you have to get your act together. You just can’t talk like this and expect to be respected in the world of sports announcers. That was every Jim Rome segment ever done.
Worst Sports Commentators Number 4: Brian Kenny – Could somebody please tell me what Brian Kenny has done in his life to be so smug? Brian Kenny falls into the “better than thou sports announcers” species. He has athletes he doesn’t like, that have done more things with their life than he could dream of, but it doesn’t stop him from talking down to them. Brian Kenny can be seen on SportsCenter, The Hot List, and as host of Friday Night Fights, all ESPN shows. His instinctive ability to look down on others, along with his pseudo-intellectual remarks (and that infectious laugh, HA!) earn Brian Kenny high marks amongst the worst sports announcers.
Worst Sports Commentators Number 3: Skip Bayless – Another ESPN talking head, Skip Bayless is a special breed. Does he bother to watch sports games anymore, or does he automatically hate all athletes because they achieved what he never could? Either way, nothing keeps him from emphatically voicing his outlandish opinions whenever prompted. All that indecipherable yelling and racist diatribe will surely land you a regular gig on the big network soon.
Worst Sports Commentators Number 2: Suzy Kolber – Oh, Suzy Kolber, your high pitch voice and ultra-cheery attitude endear you to me. The way you incessantly appear on my television, not just on ESPN sports programming, but on commercials on the EPSN networks as well, is a powerful testament to your go-getter attitude. The way you can take a football game and completely destroy my interest in watching it is astonishing. Joe Namath ending up so ashamed of drunkenly hitting on you on live television that he put himself into rehab, is exceptional payoff for years of honing your look and personality. Now keep on squinting and smiling, it’s gotten you this far.
The Worst Sports Commentators Number 1: Jim Gray – Not only do sports fans not like this guy, athletes absolutely hate them. Boxers hate him, basketball players hate him and his fellow sports announcers hate him. Jim Gray epitomizes the “all-around tool” category of sports announcers; but to his credit he also falls into the ignorant sports announcers subspecies. That’s two-for-one folks; you can’t get that kind of value just anywhere! He demands boxers – who don’t speak English fluently and just came out of an intense boxing match – to answer questions in English. He demonstrates no understanding of even the most basic concepts of the sports that he covers. He has such little tact and interpersonal skills that Mike Tyson could be his life coach.
Congratulations Jim Gray, on being the worst sports commentator in the world. You beat out an extremely tough group and deserve all the credit for your exceptional achievements in the field. Now go get punched in the face for 36 minutes and answer “How did you get your job?” in Filipino. Thanks in advance.