Killer Pad was directed by Freddy Krueger, I mean Robert Englund, and the screenplay was written by Dan Stoller. The plot involves three guys from Illinois who have traveled to live in the Hollywood Hills in a house that they think is a “killer pad.” Their minds clouded over with all of the future parties and wild sex they’ll be having in their new home the trio sort of overlook the fact that the house is a portal to Hell. Daniel Franzese, Eric Jungmann, and Shane McRae star, with Joey Lawrence making a cameo as himself.
The movie can be summed up as one drawn out series of poo poo and wee wee jokes. I am not saying adult, profane humor, I am saying on the level of actual 8 year olds. Naturally it is rated R since there is some killing and such. The R does not come from the sexual gags because quite frankly it doesn’t even reach the level of softcore in terms of American Pie shock factor or a good ole fashion horror boob-a-thon. I mean three women get into a hot tub and nary a nipple slips out before they are cooked alive.
All of the turd, poop, and weenie jokes are ill timed and the acting in the film is 100% horrible. The filmmakers could try and argue that this is in homage to classic old, campy horror films of yore. However, those days have passed and this film isn’t even on their level when their level was bad. It is lower than low and let me be insulting for a minute: it was as if the film was indeed made by retarded 8 year olds; creatively speaking.
The plot ends up being, basically, that these three annoying characters throw a party and the devil starts killing their guests. However, two of the three guys after finding dead bodies decide they do not want to ruin the party and the running gag is them trying to hide all of the bodies without the third guy noticing. At no time throughout did I even crack the tiniest of smiles.
The special features, excuse me special feature, on the DVD I watched was Englund and crew explaining that this little film was setting Hollywood history by being filmed in all digital. Perhaps they had some newer gear or something, but hasn’t digital been around and in use for quite some time now by folks?
In the end the film even turns into one of those, everything gets a nice little bow on it and everyone who died throughout is brought back to life, no harm, no foul. Sorry if that ruins anything for you, but this film sucks. Someone should also get the message out that just because you put a midget in the cast does not mean you are being funny; enough with the midgets all ready! They are short, whoopee-doo! Killer Pad features a wee man in ass-less chaps and if that sounds like a grand highlight to you then by all means waste your money, rent this movie, and then realize nothing could ever make this movie worth watching.