Gym music should be just that: music. Rap is “music?” Whom am I kidding? Rap is noise. Rap requires no talent. All you need are vocal cords, a deep voice and a script. Anyone can rap. But even if only one out of 100,000 men could rap, it’d still be the ugliest sound to hit a gym’s speaker system. I don’t detest rap because most lyrics degrade women or are of foul language. Rap sucks because of the way it SOUNDS. Period. It wouldn’t make any difference if rappers rapped about flower gardens or home-baked cookies. The sound would still be the same: HORRIBLE.
So I was at 24 Hour Fitness last night, and for two hours, I suffered in agony while rap boomed above from the speakers. I asked the desk man to change the music track. He said the room to do this was locked, and only the manager had the key, and the manager wasn’t there. What a way to go, 24 Hour Fitness. This happens all the time. I also have a membership to Bally’s, but the Bally’s gyms I go to don’t play rap. They’re smarter than 24 Hour Fitness.
Rap is so horrible that I suggest we use it to punish convicted murderers, rapists, pedophiles, child beaters, drug dealers, drunk drivers, and the like, assuming that they already don’t listen to this garbage. Find out what kind of music the rapist or drunk driver listens to. If rap is not on the list, put’em in a room with two giant speakers, then play rap for eight hours straight. Then watch them puke their guts out and beg for mercy.
I can’t believe people actually LIKE this stuff.
I’m sure my critics are already thinking, “If you don’t like it, wear a headset.” Well, that won’t solve the problem. I’m not going to exercise with something sticking in my ears. Furthermore, to drown out the rap, I’d have to play up the headset volume, and that can cause hearing loss. I don’t go to a gym because I’m NOT health-conscious. I’m not going to jam something in my ears and play it loud. I shouldn’t have to.
I wondered how many people at the gym that night actually liked the rap. Obviously, one person made a decision to set the music on the rap dial earlier in the day. This doesn’t mean that 98 percent of the people that evening wanted rap. Imagine someone dragging their fingernails across a chalkboard, or dragging the prongs of a metal fork across a chalkboard. Now, imagine at the same time that there’s a baby crying its head off nonstop. All of this sounds lovely compared to rap.
To all the rap lovers out there: I’m going to assume you hate Barry Manilow, the Osmonds, the Barney song, opera, and disco. How would you like it if you were forced to listen to this? I have no choice. I can’t take the gym equipment home with me. Tomorrow I’m going to speak to the manager of this particular gym. I’ve already done this with another 24 Hour Fitness branch, and ever since then, they’ve noticeably cut down on rap. The manager there also told me that some people had complained prior to my complaint.
If the rap at your gym makes you want to retch, then complain to the manager. Not the desk person. Not to a personal trainer. But to the HEAD PERSON at that gym. This garbage has got to go, once and for all.